Pre-Sales Pros Stereotypes

Personally I hate putting labels on people, but at the same time I detest people that are overly politically correct, so i put together my list of top 5 Pre-Sales Consultant Stereotypes.  All 5 of these SC’s are seasoned pros.  Under the brightest lights, on the biggest stage, they deliver.  They just each get there a different way.  Which one are you?  Leave a comment below.

#1 The Prepper.  This consultant has watched too many episodes of Doomsday Prepper and The Walking Dead, or any of the million other survivalist shows.  These are the guys with military grade laptop bags adorned with carabiners and waterproof matches.  They’ve got 2 backup laptops, 3 hotspots, and a solar panel charger in case ITEOTWAWKI in the middle of his demo.  The demo is replicated on a 500 slide PowerPoint deck, stored in a Virtual Machine, copied in triplicate to a solid state drive, a USB stick, and the SD card of their Otterboxed phone.   And they packed a flip chart just in case.  Well at least when the Zombie Apocalypse comes you can dry your underpants using his para-cord bracelet.

#2  The Wingnut.  This SC is the opposite of the the Prepper.  They’re called the Wingnut because they like to Wing It, and they’re a little Nutty.  They keep sales reps on their toes by showing up to demos without random things, like that display adapter dongle for the projector, or a mouse, or matching socks.  They don’t prepare anything because they are usually brilliant, which is how they get away with all the lunacy.  They are free spirits that genuinely connect with their audience on a personal level.  Hey, people buy from people right?

#3 The Scripter.  These are your control freaks.  They’ve got every word, every click, every predetermined inquisitive glance, printed out in 12 point Aerial font on thick bonded paper laid out in chronological order on the table. They are your Type A’s.  Not a wrinkle in their suit or a hair out of place.  If you’re a sales rep and you take them off script, you better sleep with one eye open in your hotel room buddy.  Managers tell horror stories to Jr. Reps about Scripters like they’re Keyser Soze.  “Don’t go off script, or The Scripter will come for you”.

#4 The Procrastination Consultant.  It’s an hour before showtime and this consultant couldn’t even tell you the name of the company they are presenting to.  The following hour is a mad scramble of keyboard mashing, random post it notes all over their monitor, and constant mumbling under their breath that sounds more like they are speaking in tongues.  Some say these consultants are unfocused, or unorganized, or overbooked.  Personally, I think they are action junkies that subconsciously put themselves in high pressure situations because that’s where they thrive.  They need the pressure to perform, which is what makes them good when the projector comes on.

#5 The Prototype.  This is the Six Million Dollar Man.  Better than you in every way.  Knows their stuff like they wrote the software.  Speaks like Morgan Freeman.  Looks like Brad Pitt.  Never crashes.  Handles objections like Steph Curry handles a basketball.  He’s smarter, faster, stronger…bah who am i kidding; his person doesn’t exist.   I said at the beginning of this blog i don’t like labels.  Because I’d bet we are all a little bit of each of these stereotypes from time to time.  At the end of the day it doesn’t matter.  If we are the bridge that carries the prospect from where they are to where we want them to be, it doesn’t matter if you’re the Brooklyn Bridge or the bridge from the 3 Billy Goats Gruff so long as you get people, and your point, across.